In high-stakes conversations and conflict, how you listen is just as important as what you say.
Which of these unproductive listening habits do you recognize — in yourself or your team?
🔁 Listening to Speak
You’re just waiting for your turn to talk. The words coming at you? Background noise. And the other person will quickly pick up on the fact that you aren’t really listening at all.
⚠️ Listening to React
You’re on edge, waiting for that phrase or trigger word. Then — BOOM! — defensive mode. There’s no quicker way to turn a conversation unproductive. And as an added bonus, the other person may walk away completely confused as to what just happened.
🛡️ Listening to Respond
You’re building your counterargument in real time. You hear the other person, but only enough to refute. Great for debates over beer, but not really productive in a business setting.
🔍 Listening to Infer
You’re more focused on reading between the lines — what’s not being said — than hearing what actually is being said. You’re probably getting at least 60% of what’s being said — which is better than the previous habits — but you’re inferring so much more juicy gossip to spread around.
If you want real communication, especially in conflict, you need one critical skill:
🎯 Listening to Understand
That means:
✔️ Focusing on both content and tone
✔️ Picking up on emotion, not just logic
✔️ Playing back what you’ve heard, so the other person knows you get it
This is the foundation of Active Listening — a skill that can be taught, practiced, and mastered. It will make you a better manager, a better friend, and even a better spouse.
It is a fundamental building block for improving communication skills. We teach it in every Communication Perspectives workshop at ArkTech Perspectives because it’s the fastest way to improve trust, collaboration, and outcomes.